It can be really easy to fall into the trap of self-doubt, or the pattern of second-guessing and worrying that we often lose so much precious time to.
We all know that feeling, something comes up in our life that is unexpected and self-doubt begins to rear it’s ugly head. Whatever the situation is that triggers this, it sparks the imagination to run wild.
I don’t know about you but my initial reaction is to automatically take it personally. “It’s because of me, my actions, I shouldn’t have said this…I should have done that” and on and on the mind continues to race around like a cheeky little monkey.
Next, we begin picturing the situation and every possible outcome of what we should have or shouldn’t have done differently. Or maybe we start to place blame on others, “they don’t know the fully story”, “I’m misunderstood”.
The mind continues to race. Our reactions and emotions start to run wild carrying us down into the depths of inadequacy, fear and perceived failure. We begin to draw assumptions about how we view the scenario, the other person’s feelings and experience of the situation and the story in our head continues.
Let me tell you, from personal experience, this is a losing battle.
But what if we could rein our nutty little monkey mind in and take a step back before we draw assumptions and get carried away?
Here are my fail-proof tactics to overcome self-doubt:
1) Feel it – As hard and uncomfortable as this is, truly embracing the emotions that come up is the process of the feelings being released. The more we press the feelings down the more they fight back up. The more energy we give something (a thought, an emotion, an idea), the stronger it becomes.
2) Delve deeper into it – The more we can fully embrace this feeling, the more we can start to discover where it is coming from. Do you doubt yourself because of fear? Is it fear of failure, fear of success, fear of the unknown? Or is this uncertainty being fueled by comparisons you make with others.
3) Drop the assumptions – The only thing you can know is how you feel, (not how your mind perceives things). Notice the difference between these two things. There is no way to know anyone else’s perception or experience with out directly asking them! Even then, things can be skewed - so why do we constantly feel the need to draw conclusions from our perception of others? (That was not a rhetorical question. I want you to really think about that).
4) Stop taking everything personally – In fact, DON’T take anything personally, EVER. This is something that I have learned from Miguel Ángel Ruiz, author of The Four Agreements (read it, it’s amazing). Practice this often.
I’m going to say it again: It’s impossible to know other people’s intentions (or lack there of) behind their actions. It is an aspect of human nature (and our ego) to assume that what others do, is done with us in mind. But you know what? It probably wasn’t and that’s OK.
5) Write in a gratitude journal daily – It will help to remind you of all the wonderful and amazing things and people in your life. It is easy to get caught up in the negative and our focus can get stuck there. Take a moment to write down what is wonderful and what you are grateful for to change your focus to the positive. When you change your perspective to what is positive in your life you will attract more of that abundance.
Before you get caught up in the self-doubt spiral or you feel that you need a mindset reset, try these practices. Remember it takes practice and patience to re-set old habits. Be patient and kind to yourself, as you would your bestie, I promise it will help.
Elise, founder of Elise Danielle Holistic Health & Wellbeing, is a Certified Holistic Nutritionist, Health Coach and Yoga Instructor with a twist. She empowers women to make genuine, healthy and sustainable choices with their diet and lifestyle BUT not by following a strict diet and exercise regime. Elise teaches people how to find their own version of glowing health; foods that nourish their bodies, tailored yoga and meditation practices, and rituals and habits that uplift them from the inside out. After her own battle between restrictive diets and binges, Elise is determined to show others that there is an easier way to live than having to battle and rely on self-control alone. She believes strongly that life is too short to obsess over what we are putting into our mouth, day in and day out.